I cannot forget how you never left me. I get excited now when I am unsure of how a situation will turn out. Uncertainty.. Uncertain Times... There has always been a great outcome after the storms. The storms may have lasted hours, days, weeks, months, or even years but, there has always been a beautiful outcome.
I say this to say that even though we are uncertain of what our next days or, months will look like.. I truly believe that God is going to turn it all around! Once it is complete.. we will know that there was Absolutely, No Doubt that God was with us through the storm and, in return brought us out!
I was brought down to my absolute lowest point the day that I was discharged from the hospital after having the twins. (And, when I mean lowest I mean knocked down.. in tears..crying in the bathroom.. Lowest!) After giving birth at 32 weeks, I knew that I wouldn't be able to take them home. Gabe and Gabbie were only 2 and 3 pounds at birth. The fact of knowing that I couldn't take them home with me was absolutely devastating.
With knowing that I could not take the babies with me and still wanting it my way,, my wfaith was truly tested. I was put in a situation that I couldn't control.
Fast Forward..........
Once I let God take control.. the twin's NICU days went a lot faster! "Did the time going by faster make it easier??", Absolutely Not! NICU life was HARD! Going back and forth to see your babies everyday in the hospital was HARD! Not being able to pick up your babies and, sometimes just looking at them through a box was definitely HARD! But, we made it! And, once we put our Faith in God we knew that it would only be God that would have brought us through!
Surprisingly, (but not really surprisingly!) sometimes we are taken out of a storm and placed in another one! On the day before New Years Eve, we received a call stating that our twins may be ready to go home on New Years Day! (I mean.. you can't get a better start to the new year than that!) The nurse stated that we would just have to complete a stay in on New Years Eve night and then, the babies would be ready to come home afterwards. We did what the nurse told us and, got everything together for the Stay In! We received another phone call later that day shutting us down.. (once again!) The nurse stated that our little girl Gabbie had a reflux episode which caused her heart rate to drop and, they needed her to stay for their reflux protocol. (The reflux protocol was another 5 days!) After, 32 days we were still excited to have reached the step of being able to bring home at least one of the babies.
Little did we know.. we would do the stay-in just as the nurses stated and get everything that we needed done, done.. But, God had other plans. Gabe did not come home with us on New Years Day.. His heart rate kept elevating after he ate and, they wanted to keep him for another day. Thirty-two days that we had waited for this moment and, to find out that he wasn't coming home just for one more day was absolutely devastating.
I say this to say that even when you think a storm or, trial has reached its breaking point. It's really not about you. God has truly has the final say and, He knows (even when you don't feel it!) what is truly best for you. I think my greatest test so far will always be the NICU. It taught me so much about myself, patience, and strength that I didn't even know that I had.
But, honestly once you make it out of the storm you really forget those days. Yes, a reminder of how far you came from that trial or, even what you were doing at that exact moment during that time will tend to creep back up in your mind. But, the BLESSING.. THE BLESSING OVERRULES! ALL THINGS! I remember those moments of sadness, hurt, etc.. But, I look at the babies now and their growth and seeing those tiny hands and feet OVERRULES! ALL THINGS!
God is soooo Gooooood!!!!!!!!!
Tell me about a storm that have you grown from? Did it change you for the better?
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